I donʼt know about you but I like watching movies seriously. And quietly. As the lights dim, I wait with eager anticipation to be transported to other realities and realms, to be expanded in imagination and spirit.
I have been known to walk out on friends who chatter through movies. So its with some trepidation that I watch films in halls. One can never tell what the crowd might be like. I prefer to wait till the official print is out and watch it at home on the projector.
Being a Raju Hirani fan, 'PK' was right on top-of-list of movies to watch, in the cinema. We chose a late night show in the Red Lounge at a multiplex close to home. But it seemed a Gujarati clan had bought the rest of the seats in the hall (or hole).
From the minute they trooped in, from daada, daadi, motha bhai and kaakis, brothers and sisters in-law, kids of all ages and a pair of newly weds, they made the hall their own. When a loud kaaki complained about the air-conditioning being too cold, an enthu nephew dutifully jumped up and got the manager to make the temperature more palatable to kaaki.
An army of servers from the food stalls outside brought in several dozen liters of mineral water, coke, teas, coffees and shakes. Each thing was proclaimed about- water not cold enough, tea not hot enough etc.
I was not looking forward to the movie with this level of noise and distraction-but the fact that I had a hectic schedule over the next few weeks, kept me in my seat. Just as soon as the National Anthem ended, the distinct aroma of thepla wafted up at me. I have tried to sneak in chewing gum, the odd fruit or some diet food on occasion but with zero success. I have had to leave entire ten-packs of gum or diet food with its containers at security. No amount of cajoling, pleading or using actor status has ever helped.
How did the family manage to get in baaraat quantity of theplas? And they had jars of choonda, the sweet-sour, marmalade accompaniment of choice for thepla. Right, I thought, so the distraction is going to be not just audio-visual but also olfactory.
Thepla was being consumed at a furious pace now. Phone torches were used to guide the food across and up and down aisles. And to help the food go down smoother yet more tea and coffee was called for.
Before Mr Hiraniʼs film unfolded, a full fledged movie was happening right there in the hall. The newly weds were being teased mercilessly and had virtually shrunk into their seats. Kaaki explained how when she had gotten married, kaaka used to sneak out of office and take her to the movies just so he could pet her freely in the darkened hall, away from the prying eyes of the joint family. She encouraged the young couple to ʻLage Rahoʼ.. laughingly alluding to Raju Hiraniʼs previous ʻLage Raho Munnabhaiʼ.
Jokes flew fast and furious about how the film would do exceedingly well in Gujarat, since everyone there loves to ʻPKʼ, but never admit it. And then Aamir appeared. Kaakis, Bens and girls let out gasps with ʻnangu che, nangu cheʼ. A brother-in-law commented that in the interest of Indian pride Aamir should have at least used a bigger device than the transistor to cover his manhood. A harmonium perhaps, felt the Gujju bro-in-law, might have served Indian men better.
At this point I figured, this Gujju movie was as much fun as the one Raju had devised and I watched both with glee. And finally it was declared that it was just as well that Anushka (Jaggu) went with Sushant (Sarfaraz), for had she gone with Aamir (PK) what would have happened to the Indian cricket team? Then we would have surely lost all games to Pakistan and not just one cute girl.
So, I thank the Shahs for the exceedingly fun evening I had and of course the free thepla-choonda. I have Motha bhai on speed dial for which movie they are watching next. Iʼm not watching a film without them. Ever.
P.S.- Thanks Jagruti Aunty for showing me how to sneak food into halls.
P.P.S- Apologies in advance PVR, Cinemax
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